Aripiprazole. That’s what I was given to help me. It was my first medication. Boy did that medication have such an effect on my creativity. I couldn’t daydream or enter my paracosm, something I’ve done ever since I could remember. So I stopped taking it. But that landed me back in hospital.
Aripiprazole. It was a horrible experience. I was experiencing a devastating side effect, something I found out about thanks to the power of the internet and insightful articles.
I cannot recall how I happened to come across the article, but the awful side effect I was experiencing is called ‘akathisia’. What a side effect it is. I’m going to describe it, but even my description cannot fully reveal the beastly events that occurred when I was taking the antipsychotic medication. Note, I’m now taking Clopixol tablets, after years on the depot version due to non-compliance. The only side effect I have with this drug is weight gain, as expected with most antipsychotics. I would experience akathisia when taking Risperidone, Aripiprazole, Amisulpiride and Quetiapine (I felt high when I took that drug!).
I used to be on 50mg of Amisulpiride (a drug that I chose to be on because the Psychiatrist trusted my judgement, having just studied Pharmacy) for a long time (taking it now and then), but a new Psychiatrist queried this dose and upped the dose from 50mg to 400mg. Akathisia didn’t come about at 50mg, but at 400mg! Anyway, let me get to the description!
I would feel a feeling of tiredness, overwhelming tiredness, where I just had to lie down. I’d walk to my bed, lift up the covers ready to jump in. I’d cover myself, lie on my side with my laptop in front of me. I didn’t want to sleep, just to lie down, you know, get some rest. I’d browse the web, looking for things to watch or things to read; hopefully, my body would appreciate the comfort, but then I’d suddenly feel a feeling of restlessness. A feeling that I had to get up, a feeling that I had to do something, anything. So I’d get up. I’d move around, perhaps get something to eat, go and grab my laptop and proceed to the living room to sit on the sofa with the laptop and continue what I was doing. Soon enough, sitting up became a chore, and I became tired again. I need to go and lie down, I’d think, so I did. Off to bed again. Tucking myself in again. A sense of relief. But this wouldn’t last long. I need to move, I can’t lie here like this. But soon enough, I realised this vicious cycle of tiredness and restlessness would not stop, and there was no relief. All caused by medication? It just wasn’t worth it. But alas, it wasn’t like I could just stop taking it and the effects would go away; no, I’d already taken the medication, and this effect wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. Now, imagine when I was on the depot that lasted two to three weeks! What a life! I couldn’t even sleep through it, for I would become agitated and just want to move. I couldn’t go for a walk as I’d just feel lethargic.
Akathisia is her name, and she is no joke. Can anyone else relate? Perhaps you are experiencing this, but just don’t know its name. Hopefully, I’ve given you some insight, and you can talk to your Psychiatrist about it. Let me know below.