I’m awake at 4:12. Most of my posts were made in the early hours. Today is different. For the last two weeks or more, I’ve been sleeping until 22:00, awake until like 5:00-6:00, then sleeping most of the day (awake here and there watching a video, falling asleep, repeat). Today, I slept until 3:30. I wanted to sleep until 6:00, then stay awake most of the day.
My inverted sleeping pattern has been a mainstay since I was 21 years old. But, at least I’m sleeping. A lack of sleep has always led to psychosis, then subsequent hospitalisation. When I say it’s been a mainstay. I don’t mean it’s always been like this. There are long periods where I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. But there are recurrent short periods where I wake up at night and I’m asleep during the day. It’s happened at least four times this year and tends to last for about four to five weeks. Agggh! I actually hate it. There’s something about being awake during the day that I like.
I need to fix this by Thursday, when I’ll have my first volunteer tutoring session. It’s at 18:00. I don’t want to be tired; I don’t want to feel like I don’t want to be there. It’ online, thank God. I hate leaving the house. I love the routine of being at home, and when that’s disrupted, it throws my whole day off. I’d rather have something spontaneous happen where I don’t have to think about it, I just do it, rather than having something planned, where I think about it the whole time prior.
I’m trying to be positive about tutoring; after all, I want to make it my career. But I need to get my sleeping pattern in check, or else, how will I cope? Maybe I need to get sleeping tablets, Zopiclone. I tried to order them a few months ago, but the GP wanted to speak to me. I didn’t call them. Besides, I don’t like the feeling in the morning after taking them. I have a metallic taste in my mouth, and my head feels heavy. Maybe, I have no choice…
It’s 4:22, and I’m signing off.
Has anyone else got an inverted sleeping pattern? What do you do to keep it in check? Let us know in the comments below!